As the last day of 2015 slips away, I am moved to share my truth with whoever shows up in this space. I have been emptied this year. I wandered into a dark and deep wilderness with no food, no water, no nourishment but God Himself. I have called this strange emptiness Perpetual Lent, not because I felt deprived by it but precisely because I want to maintain it. I realize now my emptiness was necessary, so I could be filled once again with God’s Peace. Along the path I traveled, I have found it quite amazing to see who has shown up, as well as who has not. But I can never thank enough the ones whose precious faces I see before me now. You are light in the darkness to me. You are the next step on the path. You are water for my thirsty soul. You are Christ in my life.
In living the dark days of this year, I have had a remnant of scripture flow through my head which distills and captures the essence of God’s message to me during this heavy season. Other verses might seem more appropriate for different parts of me that He needs to repair, but this is The One: For now we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face. Now we know in part, but then we shall know the whole. This year, I have had the dearest hearts in my life “remind me of what I know.” You know who you are. You have held me still, you have chiseled off my chains, you have unlocked my prison door–and I will forever be grateful for your abiding love, for your gift of freedom, for your unwavering insistence that I just rest in the arms of the One who loves me best.
I pray today with groanings too deep for words, but I will give life to a few in front of you—Lord Jesus Christ, seize my heart and make it your own. Only you, only you…..only You.